Diary of a Cold Weather Wimp,

So let's talk about this whole cold thing.

Yeah, not a fan. Mind you, I live in the South. I grew up half-necked, barefoot and comfortable in 95 degrees with 97% humidity. So when November comes, and it is basically FREEZING, I begin to wonder why I was not born a bear.

{Let's be honest they basically live the dream. They are life long chunky-dunkers and are never forced to put on a swimsuit. They are allowed, even encouraged, to plump up during winter. (Hello...Who can really make it through the holidays without putting on a little stuffing around the waistline?!?) Then they get to sleep through all the cold weather. Stoooooppppppppp. Jealous.}

But back to my point... The cold seems like a fun idea. You won't be hot. You'll stop sweating off your make-up. You get to wear all these cute sweaters and scarves. Boots are your best friend. And umm we all know that one insta you post playing in the snow every year gets the most likes.

BUT ITS A SCAM.

I'm calling it. It is a lie. We forget about the not being able to feel your face. Your ears. Your toes. Your fingers. Ok every body part. Snow is fun until it soaks through your mittens and gives you frost bite. Plus, who really enjoys becoming a marshmallow before they are allowed to step out of their house?

You have to defrost your car before you can even touch the steering wheel otherwise your hands will practically freeze to the gosh-darn steering wheel. Then there is the whole defrost-the-windows thing. Like hello, the defroster doesn't even work until you drive the car, but you can't drive the car until you can see out of the windows, but you can't see out of the windows until they defrost. WHAT'SUPWITHTHAT?!?!

The hot water in your crappy apartment takes approximately 30 mins to heat up for your shower, but only lasts a solid 10 mins before it goes cold again. You sleep under 40 blankets only to have your feet freeze off when you get out of bed. It isn't fun. It's a scam.

The saddest part about all this is that in order to work in the fashion industry, I am going to have to move somewhere 40 times colder than my beloved South. How do people even survive long winters? I would prefer to not have to find out. Yet the Lord has a sick sense of humor, so I know I'm going to figure it out myself.

#WifeMe