The "Semester Of Valerie" Has Officially Come To A Close

Another semester. Another set of finals finished. (Still waiting to hear back on the whole 'passing' part.) Another break to mentally prepare to do it all again. And with that, the "Semester of Valerie" has ended!

At the beginning of this semester, I decided to take a semester and 'just do me' as it is said. The rules? No boys. But not just no dating. No taking them to date parties. No looking. No constantly asking or saying "Why am I so singglllleeee???" No. None of that! Why? That's easy.... I was catching myself more times than not commenting on my singleness. And umm hello... we all hate those girls that are so caught up in complaining about the lack of a man in there life that they can't a) be happy for those who do have one or b) the fun times they are living right then. I was bound and determined to not become one of these girls, thus the "Semester of Valerie" was born. 

As I sit here at the end of the semester, I can say it was the most rewarding semester of my life. Now was it always easy? Absolutely not! I'll be the first to admit-- I spent the whole first part of the semester kicking and screaming and internally fighting it. But then eventually, I let that go. It slowly but surely became easier. I eventually let go and gave it to God. I realized that God's perfect timing is no where near my desired timing. And as much as that sucks for a planner like myself, it is ok. I realized that he is faithful and sovereign and won't forsake me in this area. Do I want to be a wife and a mother more than anything else in the world someday? One hundred and fifty percent!! Is that day today? No. Am I ok with that? Yes! Because right now in the waiting there is still a whole lot of life I need to live by myself. I have stories to live. Stories to write. Stories to experience. I have challenges to face and battles to win.

See this semester taught me I am ready to fall in love. Fall in love with a job. With a city. Fall in love with an adventure. With a way to serve. But not a man. (Not yet anyways). But mostly, I think I gained freedom. I don't constantly wonder when or even IF I am going to meet Mr. Right. I don't try and plan my day/life around where should I go and what should I do to try and seek him out. Because when we are ready for the each other, the Lord will get us in the same place at the same time, and in THAT I find freedom. I find freedom in the sovereignty and faithfulness of my God. So here's to finding where I want to be. And here is to falling in love-- with a town, with a job, with life. 

Because even still, GOD. IS. SO. GOOD.

BUT let's be honest.... a semester titled the "Semester of Valerie" wouldn't be complete unless there were some major epic fails along the way. I got my roommates car towed. We got t-boned. (No... not in the same night.) I turned 21. I get invited over to watch my friends set up their Christmas decorations only to turn into the stepping stool, so they could hang the 'Happy Holidays' banner and then get my hair caught in the tree during the process. I sat in the ihop bathroom trying to plan the best escape route when the person in the stall next to me answered their phone thus revealing they were a boy #Panic (Just so you know... IIIIIII was in the correct bathroom!) I survived Pendragon. I broke the slats at the head of my bed, thus flinging my mattress up feet-first and sending me flying into the wall, and then ate my frustration in the form of a bagel. (Yes, because that's going to solve the problem...) Our house was plagued with a lizard. The lizard won. So many memories to be thankful for. 

#WifeMe

A Happy Heart of Thanksgiving

Well I've successfully eaten myself stuffed. Which if you ask me, is the tell-tell sign of a successful Thanksgiving. As sit on the couch unwinding from the day, I can't help but have one thought--'Who would have thought that so much would change in one year?' The girl who sat in there very spot exactly a year ago had so much to learn about herself. The girl who sits here today is stronger, more poised, and resting in the peace that God holds her future (even though from where she sits currently there is no evidence that it's all going to work out). So to say I have a lot to be grateful for would be a very small statement attempting to sum up an overflow of blessings.

I am thankful for my family-- the one I was born with and the one that over time and challenges turned into one.
I am thankful for my trials.
I am thankful for the sovereign God who held me through everything.
I am thankful for the strength the Lord has blessed me with.
I am thankful for the victories-- how ever small they might be.
I am thankful for the peace.
I am thankful for the laughter that creeps into your soul.
I am thankful for small moments that make life worth living.
I am thankful for the joy that God brings even on the darkest days.
I am thankful for the hope of tomorrow.
I am thankful because no matter the day, the circumstances or the struggle, even still, God. Is. STILL. Good.
I am thankful because God is faithful and life is good.
I am thankful because I am abundantly blessed.

#WifeMe

Diary of a Cold Weather Wimp,

So let's talk about this whole cold thing.

Yeah, not a fan. Mind you, I live in the South. I grew up half-necked, barefoot and comfortable in 95 degrees with 97% humidity. So when November comes, and it is basically FREEZING, I begin to wonder why I was not born a bear.

{Let's be honest they basically live the dream. They are life long chunky-dunkers and are never forced to put on a swimsuit. They are allowed, even encouraged, to plump up during winter. (Hello...Who can really make it through the holidays without putting on a little stuffing around the waistline?!?) Then they get to sleep through all the cold weather. Stoooooppppppppp. Jealous.}

But back to my point... The cold seems like a fun idea. You won't be hot. You'll stop sweating off your make-up. You get to wear all these cute sweaters and scarves. Boots are your best friend. And umm we all know that one insta you post playing in the snow every year gets the most likes.

BUT ITS A SCAM.

I'm calling it. It is a lie. We forget about the not being able to feel your face. Your ears. Your toes. Your fingers. Ok every body part. Snow is fun until it soaks through your mittens and gives you frost bite. Plus, who really enjoys becoming a marshmallow before they are allowed to step out of their house?

You have to defrost your car before you can even touch the steering wheel otherwise your hands will practically freeze to the gosh-darn steering wheel. Then there is the whole defrost-the-windows thing. Like hello, the defroster doesn't even work until you drive the car, but you can't drive the car until you can see out of the windows, but you can't see out of the windows until they defrost. WHAT'SUPWITHTHAT?!?!

The hot water in your crappy apartment takes approximately 30 mins to heat up for your shower, but only lasts a solid 10 mins before it goes cold again. You sleep under 40 blankets only to have your feet freeze off when you get out of bed. It isn't fun. It's a scam.

The saddest part about all this is that in order to work in the fashion industry, I am going to have to move somewhere 40 times colder than my beloved South. How do people even survive long winters? I would prefer to not have to find out. Yet the Lord has a sick sense of humor, so I know I'm going to figure it out myself.

#WifeMe

You Know It's Real When...

This past week my sorority hosted a philanthropy event called Milk and Cookies. All the money raised goes to benefit Service for Sight (Delta Gamma Philanthropy). Basically you come to our house and eat as many cookies and drink as much milk out of a carton as humanly possible. Well my friends came. We ate. We laughed. We chatted. I left. They stayed, finished, then left.

[Fast forward to later that night... 10:30ish]

*Phone Rings*
Me: Hey girl what's up?
Lane: I lost my phone. I left it at y'alls house during Milk and Cookies tonight.
Me: Ok... well I was just leaving the Deeg... where did you leave it?
Lane: That's the thing...
Me: Oh no...
Lane: ...Yeah...
Me: Don't even say it.
Lane: I think I threw it in the garbage when I threw my trash away
Me: *DeepBreath* ...I'll call you if I find it....

You see a lot of things were running through my mind. Lane and I became best friends freshman year and have survived pretty much everything together since. Freshman whale stage. Lost keys. Lost phones. Lost ACT Cards. Lost shoes. (OKOKOK, so we pretty much lose everything!) Death of family dogs. Failed tests. You name it. We've done it. And most likely together. So when she called, I pretty much knew I'm going to have to find this phone because she'd do the same for me.

Next thought that went through my mind, ....all those garbage bags are full of spilt milk, ANNNNDDDD now yours truly gets the extreme pleasure of digging through them. (Why me?!) So, the search begins. I send up a prayer pleading with the Lord to let that dang phone be on loud, vibrate, and in the garbage cans still in the house. I pull out my phone, I hug each can, and I call Lane's phone while holding my breath desperately hoping to hear that sweet sound of a ring tone..... nothing. I hear absolutely nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. Shoulda figured... right?

Because my life is a sick joke and the Lord loves keeping me on my toes, I now have to move on to the dreaded, awful, smelly, wasteland (pun completely intended). I took a deep breath (probably my last one for a while). Put on my big girl panties. And moved outside to the *DUN*DUN*DUN* Delta Gamma Dumpster.

I fling open the big metal gate. Walk into the middle of the brick walls that house the dumpster and look into the wide opening. I just stare at the number of garbage bags in there. Really Lane?!?! Really? [InsertMentalPepTalkHere] I take a mental deep breath ('cause to take an actual one would mean searing all my nose hairs with the pungent dumpster smells thus causing me to smell that and only that for probably a week. Absolutely NOT!)

One by one I begin to remove each garbage bag. I untie it. Shake the bag to try and make the crud move around on its own in hopes of seeing the lost iPhone. I then hug the bag and call the phone. Each time with less and less hope that that DANG PHONE would ring...Because if that phone didn't ring, then I had to dig...with. my. own. glove. free. hands....into the bag.

Six bags in, the sun has set. It is just me, this nast trash and MY iPhone light. Mind you, I look like a homeless twenty year old digging though milk-soaked garbage in hopes of finding the needle in the haystack... except this needle comes in the form of a cracked iPhone 4 and the haystack is milk-soaked cookies, cartons, napkins, and whatever-else-one-thought-necesary-to-throw-in-the-garbage. As I am elbow deep in my seventh bag, Frank (our security guard) rounds the corner.

Frank: Honey, are you ok?
Me: [Takes head out of current garbage bag] ....Uhhhh.... yes? [Explains situation]
Frank: Well let me help
Me: OH MY GOSH THANK YOU YOU'RE MY HERO

1- Frank had an actual flashlight, and my phone was about to die.
2- Frank can reach into the dumpster WAYYYY easier than I could (Yes, I had to stand on a plastic crate. Yes, I fell off the crate while reaching in the dumpster. No, I don't want to talk about it.)
3- With Frank helping, I looked like I was on a mission instead of looking like a homeless 21 year old.

Just keep digging. Just keep digging. Just keep digging. That is until you run out of bags. Which we did. Here I am, covered in milk up to my elbows, stinkin' to high-heaven, and I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.

Defeated, I call Lane and break the bad news. Next morning find out a maintenance man found it in a parking lot on a different part of campus. My life is a sick joke y'all.

ONE. BIG. SICK. JOKE.

#WifeMe

What if we stopped just surviving?

"Just let me survive this day/this week/this month/this season."

Get out of bed. Put one foot in front of the other until we find ourselves back in our bed just hoping to  sleep off our pain, our guilt, our worry, our confusion. Until the alarm goes off again. Then we repeat. We stay numb to the feelings, the situations, the hurt and just try to get ourselves through the days.

Our focus is on ourselves. Only ourselves. We never look up from the ground to notice what or who might need attention around us. We become so consumed with our storm that we end up running ourselves into the ground. We run ourselves dry. So dry that we have nothing left to give. Therefore, to just keep going, we switch into survival mode and become numb. We run ourselves dry. If we could just look up for even a second, we might remember that our storms are part of a story. Our story. A moment in time. Temporary.

Temporary. How easy it is to forget that the storms of this life are temporary. How easy it is to get so caught up with ourselves that we forget about everyone around us. How easy it is to get tunnel vision with the sole focus-- me. To abandon everyone and everything because right here, right now, I am hurting. I am drowning. I can't see the end of this tunnel. I can't see the redemption of this chapter in my story.

How is it that on what was one of the worst, most darkest days of my life God revealed his sovereignty? He reminded me of what immeasurably more actually means. He gave me a glimpse of how he perfectly orchestrates the storms for his glory.

In a moment that the world would have seen a failure. A huge screw-up. The end. God lent me his point-of-view to show me his glory. How he was in fact redeeming what I had decided was unredeemable. And all of a sudden, I wasn't surviving anymore. I was on my face before the God of all creation praising his great name because OH. HOW. GLORIOUS. IS. OUR. GREAT. GOD!

But then now with a glimpse of how the Lord is working all things for his glory, I get to pause from survival. Only to look back and see wasted months. Months spent focusing on myself. Months of not bearing fruit. Spent wallowing in confusion and crying out to the Lord because he wasn't working he wasn't following the mortal plan I had feebly played out in my mind.

So what if instead of just surviving, we served? We glorified? We loved? While we are in the middle of our storms-- our temporary storms-- storms of confusion and waiting, while we are calling out to the one who loved us first asking, 'Where are you?', 'How are you working?', '.....do you hear me?', we actually found rest by serving his kingdom?

With the hope, that through us seeking to bring glory to the King of Kings, we somehow find him ourselves. We remember our God is the God of immeasurably more, and because of that we have to share it. Somewhere in the middle of all the survival, we re-find ourselves. We re-find God. Because instead of looking down and putting one foot in front of the other, we look up. We refocus with our eyes pointed heavenward, and we change our motto from "Let me just survive this day." to "Today, I will serve."

#WifeMe

Gifting on a budget

LADIES! This one is for all of us who are making our way in the world with limited funds (if you can even call our lack of funds "limited" more like nonexistent!) Fact is is that I love giving gifts. Wrapping pretty packages. Enjoying the excitement of watching someone open a gift I thoughtfully picked out and wrapped. But is it just me or does wrapping paper slowly get more and more expensive? HAVE NO FEAR! I have figured out a way to still be able to deliver perfectly wrapped packages without ever having to dump money on wrapping paper again!

It was my bible study leaders birthday on Sunday. So I bought her this cute frame and put a pic of all of us in it. But then I realized, I have no wrapping paper and no extra funds to go purchase any either. So.... I begin to dig around my apartment until I found something, anything I could use.

All it takes is paper, ribbon and a sharpie! No worries Penny-Stretchers, if you don't have a roll of paper laying around, use computer paper-- tape a couple pieces together! Or if you are running low on computer paper, newspaper is always a fun choice (the more color on the page the better). After wrapping my package in this plain white paper I thought it was too blah, so I grabbed a silver sharpie and started polka-dotting away. Then I found some left over ribbon laying around and wrapped that into a bow to add a finishing touch. (If you don't have enough ribbon to wrap around the whole package, just make a cute bow for the top and tape it on.)

WAHLAH! The cutest gift in the gift pile! Plus it is personalized, and depending on the recipient, you can get really creative with your design on your personalized paper.

Another life tip: Whenever you are at a craft store and notice a sale on scrapbook paper, grab a few pieces. You can save a LOT of money by hand-making your cards..... plus aren't yours cuter anyways?

#WifeMe

Tow away my car (and a chunk of my savings account)

Honestly, I should really stop being surprised that these things happen to me. Motto of my life ~ "If it's could to go wrong, it will go even worse!"

If I started remembering this more often maybe I could avoid a lot of heartburn, but then again what would I have to write about? So in a weird twisted way, I guess as a writer I should be thankful in that God has a sick sense of humor and just ADORES putting me through the ringer because at least it gives me material to work with.

*Cue Law and Order Music *

September 12, 2014 | 9:32 pm

The story actually started around 9 pm you could say. See where I live there are six tenants. (Three townhouses + two occupants each = for a grand total of 6) BUT - and this is the kicker- there are only 5 spots. WHOEVER PLANNED THIS... is a complete moron, but that's a different post on a different day. Any hoo, my roomie came home and called me because there were no spots. And since it was a game day weekend, she didn't know where she should put her car. I told her oh no worries! At 9:30 I was headed over to my friend Lane's place, so I'll just take your car. That way, maybe by time I get back, there will be a spot.

So about 9:30 pm I head over there. Lane had turned 21 that Monday. I know, I know... worst day for a 21 bday everrrrrr!!! So tonight she was going out. See I don't turn 21 til November, and I'm not drinking alcohol til then either, but she wanted me to come to the pre-game at least since I couldn't get into the bars. But I had a plan, I'll stop by the pre-game hang out with her before she goes out and then afterward I will go for my nightly run around the quad. (I signed up for a half marathon in February, keep following and watch out for more on that). So I show up in my running attire. Thus completely sticking out like a Mennonite showing up to a Madonna Concert. In a sea of girls all doll-up to go out and meet boys, I'm standing there in running spandex, a big tshirt and my hair in the worlds worst messy bun on the top of my head.

Well, as you can imagine, my job at any pre-game is to take photos of everyone and anyone who wants them. Honestly, I should invest in a ZAP shirt. I'm the token sober girl in the room. Therefore there is a 97.34% chance the photo won't come out blurry. (The remaining 2.66% is for when I get bored and play the "How-Blurry-Can-I-Get-This-Photo Game just for funsies) After taking countless photos, and retaking those countless photos because obvi there-was-something-wrong-with-that-one-piece-of-hair-on-the-back-of-your-head-that-you-just-know-is-there-and-will-bother-you-every-time-you-look-at-that-insta-you-post-even-though-no-one-else-will *DEEEEEEEPBREATH* (Since I'm a girl and understand this, I have an unlimited picture re-taking max.)

In the middle of my ZAP duties, Deb (another friend) comes and asks if I can go pick up Austin (her BF). Of course I can! So Deb, and her friend who's visiting (Jaycee) go to pick him up. Deb's car is bigger than Em (my roomies) car, so we agree I'll drive her.

Here's where the story blows up. Where the plans I had for my night end. Where I want to punch myself in the face because really?!?! this kind of bullcrap is happening to me...... again???

10:30 pm (notice not even an HOUR after I arrived)
As we head to the parking garage located on the bottom floor of their building, I get the strong urge to check and make sure Em's car is still there. As I round the corner, I just stop. Because right in front of me is nothing. Nothing but an empty parking spot. The spot that previously held my, well Em's, car. And that my friends is the absolute worse sight ever!

This is where I should freak out right? I should start panicking at the amount of money I'm going to pay to get this car out of jail. I should start panicking at the fact that I have no idea where this car even is. I should even probably start panicking that I don't even know how to figure out where it is?!?!?! But..... maybe I'm used to this kind of bull crud always happening or maybe I'm too laid-back for my own good. But I don't panic at all. Now do my sassy pants come on? YES! Do I want to rage? YES! Do I mentally start calculating how many pairs of shoes I could buy with the amount of money it takes to bail the car out of jail? ABSOLUTELY!

In case you're wondering, it cost (and I quote from the tower lady) "$160 of cold hard cash"..... great....  I don't think I've ever held that much cold hard cash in my hand just because. And to top everything off once I coughed over my "cold hard cash" I asked at what time they picked up my car. Her response, "10:22 pm" Ohhhhhhhhhh... I could have lost my mind. EIGHT MINUTES! EIGHT MINUTES!! Eight minutes before I went downstairs to go get Austin, they towed my car. Like is this a joke?! Well my wallet can prove it's not.

Needless to say, I didn't go for a run after all this was over. Because technically I had lost a significant amount of weight, from my wallet.

After an hour and a half, I was finally able to reclaim my roomies car! 

#WifeMe

And it softly sang me to sleep

There is something so peaceful about it.
Something so cleansing
The soft pitter patter
The steady rhythm
And occasionally,
When the wind begins to roar,
You can get swept up.
Swept up is some dark place
You rarely get to escape to.
So let it sing to you softly;
Let it erase the day you just survived.
Because rain has a unique ability
To nourish
To purify
To wash away
The trials of the day
The quarrels between lovers
The pain remaining from a yesterday

#WifeMe

No MRS. Degree here

For the girls who AREN'T walking away with their Mrs. Degrees.

So maybe it's a southern thing, or maybe it is just an Alabama thing.... but the closer I get to that graduation day the more and more of my friends and acquaintances get engaged. Look don't get me wrong, I am super pumped you found Mr. Right in your short 22 years of life on this earth. I am even impressed that out of this whole earth population thing you were able to choose the same school as the one out of 7 BILLION people that was made to be your soulmate. But don't hate on those of use who's Prince Charmings are lost and rooting for the wrong football team. Or Lord forbid, wondering around the same school unaware of the fact that his most perfect woman lives a mile down the road. And PLEASE OH PLEASE, don't let this crazy Alabama society convince you that when you don't get that ring by spring, and you celebrate graduation by rewarding yourself with a job instead of a luxurious vacation for two in the tropical island of your choosing that you have failed, are destined to spend the rest of your life with cats, or that online dating is the only resort left.

WRONG!

Don't get me wrong, I would love to meet the man I'm going to marry just as much as the next girl. And trust me my first words to him will also be, "What the heck took so long, you psycho!" But, I'm not willing to give up these golden-girlfriends-only years without a fight. We are missing a very important lesson here ladies! We have this time to be single, do stupid stuff and let our very best friends witness it all. The nice thing about making memories with only your girlfriends is that those memories can last a lifetime. They aren't tainted by the man of that hour or the douchebag who broke your heart. Absolutely not! They are full of laughter, no-pants dance parties, baking-- lots of baking, a couple cry seshes and a whole lot of gossip. Those nights, the nights we get to spend being carefree in our twenties are the nights we will remember for the rest of our lives.

So you have to graduate. You have to get a job. And Lord forbid, you have to move to a brand new city all by yourself without a man. BUT, contrary to popular belief, it won't be the end of the world. Yeah so we get to attend a lot of weddings solo, and yeah we have to still check the single box on the doctors office paperwork, but would you really trade last nights midnight sushi run for a box to check?

Since we have so much free time not planning a wedding and everything, let's make a few more memories to add to the vault.

-Dance on that one bar you've always wanted to
-Karaoke. Just do it for cryin out loud!!
-Sleepovers. Maybe for the weekend? In a different town?
-Stay up to all hours of the night because you painted your nails and obvi if you went to bed now
  you'd ruin them
-Make a donut run at 3 am just because y'all can
-You know you've wanted to run through that fountain since freshman year. It's time
-Road trip. Whether it's for an antique store that's 90 miles away or that one ice cream shop you saw featured on the food network that you would just die without. Pile in a car and go

#WifeMe

Proverbs 31: 12

Ladies, listen up!
I had one of the most taxing semesters of my life. One of the biggest roller coasters I've ever ridden. So when I packed all my stuff-- my enormous amounts of stuff I think for some reason is crucial to exist-- and headed home for the summer, I realized that not only had I survived the roller coaster but I was in a million pieces. In a million pieces, in DIRE need of the Lord to put me back together. Cause y'all, just like Humpty Dumpty, I wasn't dumb enough to believe mere mortals themselves could put me back together.

SO! I decided to take the Proverbs 31 Challenge!! (I have no earthly idea if this is a real thing, but heck it is what I'm calling it!) For 31 days, I am studying Proverbs 31. If you aren't familiar with the passage, it is basically a outline of the ideal woman, the ideal woman of God. Well let me tell you something, I have been single as long as I have been alive. I'd say I'm going through a dry spell, but then that would just mean I was born in the desert! And I'm pretty sure, I am going to be a one-hit wonder when it comes to dating, falling in love, and gettin' hitched. Which should seem like pretty good odds. 7 Billion people in the world. About half of that men. About one-third of that eligible suitors. That gives me around 1 Billion people. ONE BILLION MEN. But, oh-no-sir-ee! The Lord has a much sicker sense of humor than that! You don't get to choose out of the one billion because he's already picked your match out for you. So if you follow him and trust your future in his hands, he's only going to bring the two of y'all together in HIS....PERFECT....timing. And thats annoying my friends, oh-so annoying.

I heard it said once that if you haven't found your soulmate yet, it is because there is a barrier is y'alls lives. Maybe it's a barrier of the heart. As in, God is still trying to teach one or both of you something that will make your marriage a bajillion times easier if you learn such lessons before. OR... maybe it is an actual physical barrier. He lives in California. You live in South Carolina. And there is comfort in that. Comfort in that your heart that desires to be loved and be a spouse to someone hasn't been forgotten. It's just that in the mean time God has plans.

So this is how I came up with this challenge. I needed to work with the Lord to put me back together after this semester. And he was very faithful in that prayer while I was in Costa Rica. But now that I was back in my regular life, it was time to tackle the stuff I had pushed so far down it had cobwebs on it. Therefore, what better way to face my issues than learning what it means to be a woman of God. Not only would it show me the areas of my life I am not handling appropriately, but it will help me prepare to be the wife that I will be called to be one day. I want to be ready. Ready for when the Lord finally says, "Hey...look up! That's him!"

SOOOOOO.... Tonight I read verse 12. It goes like this-- "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." How many of us can stand up right now and say.... YES! I will only bring him good. Yeah if you stood up, SIT BACK DOWN! None of us. We hold resentment. We gossip. We complain. We intentionally say words we know are going to cut. We call names. We seek revenge. NONE OF THIS IS OK!!!!! I am guilty too. But ladies, what would it look like if for a second we loved like Jesus loves. We didn't seek revenge. We didn't hold grudges. We didn't go gossiping about what he or others did to piss us off. How different would this world be if we stood up (ok... NOW you can stand up) and loved like this? As perfect as we like to think we are. As much as I like to think the only reason I haven't met Prince Charming yet is because HE has work to do with the Father before he's ready to meet ME...... I am so wrong.

Therefore here is a challenge. For one week. Just one. (Look, y'all, we can hold on to a diet at least that long!) Vow to, with the help of God, love like this. And every time you want to gossip, hold a grudge, call someone or him a bad name write it down. Then at the end of the night pray through them. It's time we take responsibility too. I am choosing to prepare for the future I want through a God who has proven over and over He.....Is......So.....GOOD!

#WifeMe

Because he died, I am free

There is freedom in forgiveness.
There is freedom in letting go.
There is freedom in standing back up.
There is freedom in saying I don't know.

There is freedom in love.
There is freedom in laughter.
There is freedom in peace.
Because he died, I am granted ever after.

There is freedom in the morning.
There is freedom in a lions roar.
When I stand by the sea,
my soul is free to soar.

There is freedom in the darkest days.
There is freedom in the night.
There is freedom despite our circumstances.
There is a freedom to fight.

There is freedom to dance.
There is freedom to fall.
My soul will rejoice
for the one who gave it all.

#WifeMe

Renewal

I was nervous
For the unknown
For what was coming
But then I arrived

I saw

I experienced

It was beautiful
Breathtaking
It was hectic
Chaotic
It was new
strange

For the first time in a while
I felt the life return
Soaking it all in
And deeply breathing

All the baggage I had been carrying
Discarded
All the mud I'd be trying to run through
Disappeared

I was living.
For the first time in months
I was breathing.

My view when I stepped off the plane in

the place that holds part of my story, Costa Rica.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#WifeMe

Well, here goes nothin...

Well tomorrow is the day!!! I LEAVE FOR COSTA RICA!!! 14 days!

I was challenged earlier in the year to do something to go find myself or something that scared me. Well, I don't speak spanish, I've never been to Costa Rica, and I have no clue what to expect. But here goes nothing right?!

Could I do this by myself? AIN'T NO WAY! But I have people praying over me, I have the protection of my Lord. And with the amount of prayer and guidance I have put in toward this trip, I am not afraid. My God is bigger than all the circumstances that could go negatively.

Proverbs 16:3 - "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."

Romans 8:38-39 - "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Well here I go! Praying for big things to come out of this trip! I'll keep you posted!!

#WifeMe

Distance

And so we walk away
Just like that
There are months in between us
Months of memories
Months of growth
Months of separation

Separation to find ourselves
Refocus
Recharge

But will we ever walk back
Side by side
Will we ever be how we were before

Or will separation
Always be
In between

#WifeMe

Hang on y'all! I'm waiting...

So I'm waiting for you.
Did you know?
I've saved it all for you.
My heart.
My touch.
My words.
They're waiting for you, too.

Are you seeking?
Seeking the one that's waiting.
Seeking the One in the journey?
Did you even know I was waiting?

But I'm not waiting stagnantly.
I'm waiting with a purpose.
With a servants heart.
With sights set on our Lord.

Hear that...
Our.
Sounds nice doesn't it?

I'll keep serving.
I'll keep praying.
I'll keep waiting.
Because if you haven't found me yet,
God has a reason.

#WifeMe

Feel the warmth

And while the winter was there

It wasn't just cold to our skin

It affected our hearts

Our thoughts

Our moods

Spring didn't just bring life

It renewed

It revived

And once again we looked at each other with love in our eyes

Remembering why we first loved

#WifeMe

The little things

The moments when you realize this has become true are the moments you truly realize how blessed you are.

#WifeMe

Adventures!

Life isn't a race. Sometimes we need to stop running to keep up and start walking so we can look around.

Today, we walked. The college life is great. The college town atmosphere is fun. But the speed at which most live their lives here is way too fast. Everyone is on a sprint to the next thing. The next party. The next relationship. The next seat on SGA. The next position in the sorority. Always onto the next. 

And it's great. We are only young once, so why not live it up? Right?! Well no matter the answer, I can't function like that for long. I have to take a step back and remind myself there is a huge world outside this place. An imperfect world created by a perfect Creator just waiting to be discovered. So today, along with two friends, I discovered another piece of His impeccable creation. And like always, it slowed me down and put things into perspective. 

Life is not a race. So what if you make it to the end first... no one will be their to congratulate you. So STOP! and walk. Look around. Live in the moment. And maybe thank the Lord for allowing you to wake up and allowing you to spend it with those you love.

#WifeMe

14 Day Challenge

I apologize! I am late to writing this, but in a previous post I talked about how I was taking a 14 day break from talking about my singleness. And although I wasn't a 100% successful, it actually taught me a few lessons I didn't even realize it could.

1. When I complain about being single, I am telling the Lord he isn't providing. I am saying "Hey God, this whole 'perfect plan' you have for me... yeah I don't really like it, so let me tell you what I need." 
2. I am focusing on what I don't have and questioning God's authority as the provider in my life. Instead, when I was forced to not talk about it, I was forced to look at how the Lord HAS provided and how blessed I truly am. 
3. There are a lot of POSITIVES to being single. Discovering who you are, spending time in a way in which YOU decide, unlimited friend time. I realized that for the most of my life I will not be single, so why am I not soaking up every minute of it right now?

I also promised I would do something crazy. Something I have never done in order to find out more about myself. Well, I did it! A couple days ago, I applied to Volunteer as a Childcare Worker in Costa Rica for 14 days. Last night, I GOT ACCEPTED!!! Whoop! Whoop! So as long as my summer plans line up accordingly, I am headed to Costa Rica on May 12! I can't wait :)

#WifeMe

Happy Valentines Day Eve, Loves!

So it would be really easy to sit here and write about how tomorrow is such a bogus holiday, how it is Single's Awareness Day, yadda yada yada, but I'm not!  Cause I don't agree! 

Now don't let me fool you! I've never had a REAL Valentine. I've been single for 20 years and counting, and l have no clue what it means to actually have Valentine day plans that don't involve other single friends. BUT! Instead of looking at this holiday and thinking of who ISN'T in my life. I look at it like this. 

One day. ONE DAY! I will have someone to share the remainder of my Valentines Days with. And chances are, I will spend the majority of my life's Valentines with him. So for now, my Valentines are my life buddies, my friends, the people who make every day worth getting out of bed for. Wether they are biological sisters or sorority sisters, friends or best friends, family or just a family you've adopted for yourself, THEY are the ones you love. And isn't that the point of Valentines? To cherish the ones you love!?

#WifeMe

He'll catch up

#WifeMe

Just "Do You"

The other night in the castle (that's what we've nicknamed our sorority house) my roommate and I were talking. As you can imagine, we cover topics from what homework we have, how we feel about that homework, how we feel about that cute guy in class with the homework, to how we feel about how sexy he looked today, then to how he practically proposed when he picked up her pin after it fell off her desk, and of course ending with "oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-single!!!!"

In our room, I have been perfecting the single life since 1993 (aka the day I entered the world in my birthday suit). On the other hand, roomz has dated over half of her hometown, yet has had an unforeseeable dry-spell since coming to college. Of course after surviving freshman year, we know why. Freshman year, even though movies tell you everyone is going to find the love of their life within the first... ehhhh... week-or-so, should really be called the "Hook-Up Year". And if you aren't into that, and aren't lucky enough to find the one boy your age who isn't either, you're going to be single. Accept it. Although personally, being single Freshman year is probably one of the biggest blessings in my life. YOU. DO. NOT. KNOW. YOURSELF. that first year. Take time. Figure it out!

Anyhoo, that's a rant for another day. Back to our midnight convo the other night. I was explaining how it would be nice to even know what it feels like to have someone like you. To fall in love. [InsertMoreCheesePuffSayingsHere] Then this is what she said to me. "I think you need to "do you" for awhile. Go be stupid. Travel spontaneously. Do something absolutely crazy."

Now, little conservative me of course said, "I don't know HOW to be crazy." That's her point! Chances are I am going to date only one man-- mainly because I don't have time to waste on weenies who aren't going to be my husband, because I have no desire to casually date, and because I'm too picky. So when it's time to meet the one, date the one, and then *Here'sToHoping* marry the one, I want to be able to look back on these years with fond memories of me finding myself in the stupidest things.

So here's my challenge. It's small. I'm not going to start big. But for 14 days (and yes this includes Valentines day...) I am not going to say "Man, I'm so single." or "Gosh, why don't I have a boyfriend." or anything that could be categorized as the same! On top of that. I'm going to do one absolutely stupid thing that I've never done before.

.......honestly I'll let you know what it is once I've figured that out!

#WifeMe

The Beginning

As I begin this blog,
I don't know how it's supposed to end.
It's not a story I made up in my head.
It's not the story of someone who is dead.
It's my life.
And the journey of possibly
.....becoming a wife.

                    #WifeMe